THE ETIQUETTE FOR EJACULATIONS
In life, there’s an etiquette for everything. From dinner to tea to interviewing for a position at a company. Someone makes the rules and everyone else has to follow them. With ejaculation etiquette, this is a good thing but can feel a bit stifling, sometimes. While women can orgasm in many different places with little sign, you erupt in a white gush of bodily fluid that’s easy to see. An etiquette plan is needed. Where, when, how to clean it up, dispose of it, and, of course, when not to. There are a lot of rules that go with letting your little swimmers swim, but what are they and do you know all of them?
Here are five ejaculation rules that’ll keep those rule-makers happy.
#1 INSIDE YOUR PARTNER
When having sex without a condom, more likely than not, you’ll finish in your partner. Make sure to ensure your partner doesn’t have an STI or STD. Before ejaculating, ask for permission and, if your partner is female, make sure birth control is handled before you output. Most of the clean-up is in his/her hands, but if your partner spills some before reaching the bathroom, it is your job to clean up the spillage.
Proper Etiquette: Don’t ejaculate inside of your partner when you said you wouldn’t.
#2 INSIDE YOUR CONDOM
Immediately after ejaculating, remove the condom before your erection softens. By doing this, you’ll prevent sperm from escaping and getting all over the bed or your partner. Tie the end off so all of your sperm stays in and put it in the garbage—not the floor, toilet, or tucked somewhere.
Proper Etiquette: Take the condom off yourself, don’t ask your partner.
#3 IN YOUR PARTNER’S MOUTH
A little more complex, ejaculation etiquette related to oral sex needs a combination of permission and proper timing. Before ejaculating in your partner’s mouth, make sure he/she wants to swallow. If your partner says yes, let him/her know when you are about to orgasm so your partner can prepare to swallow and not gag. They may switch to a handjob or some other form of stimulation, instead. A simple warning can be uttered or a subtle signal will be fine.
Proper Etiquette: Don’t hold your partner’s head and force them to swallow. You’ll be unlikely to get a blow job again.
#4 ON YOUR PARTNER’S BUTT OR BREASTS
Make sure permission is given beforehand. Some men enjoy ejaculating on their partner’s butt or breasts and some partner’s like that, but on the other hand, some find it gross. If your partner likes this, go ahead.
Proper Etiquette: Don’t collapse on your partner and squish your ejaculation between your bodies, spread it around, or rub it in.
#5 IN YOUR PARTNER’S FACE
You will definitely want to get permission before ejaculating near or on your partner’s face. Some men and many women are turned off by facials. In addition, women may find it degrading.
Proper Etiquette: Don’t ejaculate in your partner’s eyes or hair. It’s just easier to clean up, more pleasant for your partner, and safer that way.
THE NUMBERS ON PREFERRED EJACULATION LOCATION
These numbers are based on the preferences of men and women.
A survey of 740 men and women looked at the highest-rated location preferred by men and women when ejaculating on her body. Unsurprisingly, men like putting their semen all over more than women like receiving it. So, here are the numbers. Mind them, so she can enjoy herself more and possibly let you ejaculate on her more often.
When asked about the location that is most used for the man’s ejaculation when having sex, the answer was “sometimes” or “often” when these locations were targeted.
92% in the woman’s vagina
74% on the woman’s body
54% in the woman’s mouth
Pertaining to money shots, the numbers varied between the genders on their preferred location.
The woman’s face:
Men – 42%
Women – 12%
Take note, women don’t like semen on their faces. Receiving is much different than giving.
The woman’s chest:
Men – 26%
Women – 37%
Better for women, but, unfortunately, men don’t seem to like this location. In addition, the abdomen isn’t preferred for either gender. Compromise is key.
The woman’s crotch
Women – 23%
Interesting that the numbers are usually opposites. For money shots, remember her pleasure because she’s receiving.
The back, butt, hands, and legs scored low for men and women.
Most Recent Ejaculation Location
During their most recent ejaculations, men said they ejaculated on her crotch, 24%, chest, 23%, and abdomen, 20%.
The numbers on the preference for facials were vastly different, as women don’t enjoy semen on their faces, but there is a surprising facet of this location.
Men who watched porn 14 to 30 days a month enjoyed facials 50% of the time, those who were in a steady relationship, 45%, of all men and women, 42%, who watched porn zero to four days a month, 35%, and were married, 40%.
Women who watched porn 14 to 30 days a month enjoyed facials 38% of the time, those who were in a steady relationship, 19%, of all men and women, 13%, who watched porn zero to four days a month, 8%, and were married, 5%.
Women who watched more porn seemed to enjoy facials more than all the others. This could mean porn has influenced her thoughts on facials. Of all men and women, 42% of men and 13% of women enjoyed facials.
The truth is, guys, once you’re married she’s no longer going to pretend she likes facials. So, you may want to find something both of you enjoy, so you can do it more often. She’s spent tons of years giving you a great time and even pretending she likes it. Offer something amazing in return and, when the opportunity arises, ejaculate on her chest and crotch, even if it’s less fun for you. Giving and receiving are vastly different. The numbers don’t lie.