Have you ever met a person who thinks they’re the world’s gift to humanity? How did you feel when this person talked like the Sun revolved around them? This person’s ego is so big they may try to convince you they discovered gravity, light, and the cure for every illness. I exaggerate, a little. Here is a more pressing question, are you this person? Your huge ego might be messing up your relationship. Let’s explore some of the signs you have a very large ego and why you might want to stuff it in a warehouse and become a regular person.
You Love “Likes”
If you wake up in the morning and check your Facebook, before you even glance at your significant other, you might have a big ego. Those “likes” call you much stronger than your significant other ever can. You may spend your day worried about who is clicking on your selfies, commenting, loling, and other things that boost your mood. When you must be the most popular dude around and focus on that pretty much to the exclusion of anything else, your ego rules your life. If this is the case, you aren’t ready for a relationship with someone else.
What you can do: Put a block on your phone, so you will stop getting notifications from your social media pages. Delve into the reasons you need so much eternal validation. What insecurity is driving your demand for praise? How can you give yourself that same praise and strengthen your belief in yourself?
You Must Have Things Your Way
People with large egos believe they are the only ones who have needs, opinions that matter, and wants. If you find you MUST choose the location, time, attendees, and activity of any event, your ego might be too large. If you are in a relationship you need to control all of the events shows your partner you are the only person that matters. They are just here to make you feel good.
What you can do: Widen your perspective. The world is full of billions of people who all have wants, desires, and valid opinions. Yours is not more important than theirs, nor should your opinion be the only one that is considered. When you are talking to others, ask them what they would like to do, what time, and which locations. For a while, whatever their answer, do what they would like to do. Ask them questions and resist the urge to convince them of your beliefs.
You Must Always Be In The Spotlight
If you are anywhere and you feel the need to constantly garner everyone’s attention, your ego may be too large. People who are self-absorbed hate being in the shadow or sharing the spotlight. They must be the center of attention at all times, in every situation. This can bode poorly for your relationship because your partner will be forgotten, always in the shadow, and will be burdened by your need for constant attention. He/she doesn’t have time to give you the attention your ego needs.
What you can do: Intentionally, put someone else in the spotlight. For instance, admire someone else’s work or praise your significant other in front of all of your friends. When you are doing this, just make sure you don’t take the spotlight by being too charming our loud. Congratulate the person using a reasonable voice tone and give them some space. Let the other person speak and enjoy the spotlight. Be happy for them.
Drama Is Like Air In Your Life
You need it. When every person you walked by during the last week seems to hate you, your ego is too large. If you are fighting with pretty much everyone you hang around with, this is a problem, and you are the common denominator. People who have large egos often believe they are perfect, but no human is perfect. We all have flaws and make mistakes. And that’s okay. Drama may make you feel more important, but it damages your close relationships. Your significant other may feel stressed out because of the constant drama in your life. While watching drama on TV can be pretty interesting, it isn’t so great when you have to deal with the fallout of real-life drama. All that yelling, pushing, and unneeded anxiety can be tiresome.
What you can do: Start a new hobby. If you may be feeling insecure about your important, a new hobby can help you develop new skills. With these skills, you can rise to the rank of your job or better your business and become more important. But, this is only a temporary solution to the underlying problem. Like before, you’ll want to ask yourself some deep questions and be completely honest. Ask these questions when you are alone.
Why do I feel so insignificant?
How can I boost my self-esteem?
Can others, actually, make me less significant?
Having a large ego can be detrimental to your relationships. When you spend much of your time thinking of yourself, it can push people away and further fuel your insecurity. Around others, ask questions about their lives and listen fully, without thinking of your next response. Give others the spotlight and enjoy the shadow. It may be hard at first bu eventually you will fee more secure in your abilities and worthy. You don’t have to convince anyone of your brilliance. The only person who has to know you are improving is yourself. Be better than you were yesterday and you will be fine. Remember, your spotlight will come again.